Part 3
I am proud to say that as this post goes live, my mail-in ballot is making its way toward our county elections division, where (I hope) it will help Pennsylvania send its 19 electoral votes to the next president of the United States. Once counted on November 5, it will be my sixth vote in a presidential race, but I am currently batting less than .500 on that front, so all I can do at this point is hope… and plan for what I’m going to do either way the election swings. No matter the result – or the backlash – I know how critical it will be to connect with others as best I can to heal some of the divisions we’ve experienced in recent years, but especially in the last four.
“Left wing, right wing, same bird”
It’s not uncommon to hear politicians talking about how we need to come together as a country, but I feel like that nice sentiment frequently doesn’t materialize after the votes are counted, when some are gloating, some are hurting, and some are scared. I was recently asked by a reporter from the New York Times (for a story on fracking in Pennsylvania) who I thought would win the election. Recognizing what a minefield of a question that was, I told her simply that there are a lot of people across the state who feel unheard, unseen, and unprotected; that no matter what a candidate may say or do, people are going to vote for someone they feel has their back, [whether or not that choice is grounded in fact]. (I didn’t say that last bit out loud.)
Image credit: [1]
The fact that there are people in that situation in the first place – people who feel abandoned or unseen by their leaders – should be the core issue we’re addressing right now instead of fighting each other over who in the government wins or loses. The type of division being sown by our political parties, social media, and infotainment (I hate that word, by the way [2]) creates and relies on strong emotional responses. That kind of emotional manipulation can be more easily achieved by stripping the “other side” of their humanity and complexity, of flattening truly fraught issues into simplistic binary positions that are divorced from reality.
If you have ever looked at any of my election research spreadsheets, you may have noticed that I don’t list the candidates’ party affiliations; just their credentials, positions, and actions on a variety of issues. The omission of that key letter helps me focus on the issues at hand instead of party labels, and the result is that I typically have a mix of fairly centrist democrat, republican, and third-party candidates selected on my general election ballots, as was the case this time. (Indeed, a new third party, the Forward Party, was founded last year with the specific intention of combatting the increasing polarization we’re seeing in politics. [3])
Image credit: [4]
I recognize that I am atypical in my approach, being probably one of very few true swing voters in existence. [5] Certainly, the sheer scale of time and effort I put in is unusual (if not indicative of extreme privilege), but as I work through a very data-based approach and observe massive gaps between perception and reality, I remember that so much of what speaks to us as humans is not data, but emotions. And I firmly believe that if our emotions can be hacked with the intent of dividing us, they can also be used more productively to bring us back together – it just takes more work on our part to do the latter.
Good Neighbors
We see it in times of crisis, when external factors strip off most of our self-applied labels, until we finally view each other as humans suffering through hardships together. But the bigger the divide, the more difficult to expand our definition of “in” and more difficult to see the humanity of those who are “out.” The aftermath of January 6 brought together many people who view themselves as patriots from both sides of the aisle to defend our democracy, [6] but a vocal minority still opposes those efforts, largely based on rhetoric they’ve absorbed that is steeped in emotion, not fact. And getting to the root of that emotional response is difficult and sometimes not even safe.
To be very clear, everything I am advocating for here is in support of healthy, respectful dialogue between consenting adults who observe established boundaries. Speaking as someone who went through couples counseling in an attempt to salvage an abusive relationship, [7] I know there are some situations that are at their core unsafe and can be made worse through attempts to engage: don’t do that. What I’m talking about here is the quiet majority (more than 8 out of 10 Americans, by some counts [8]) who feel exhausted by the divisive rhetoric in our politics and want to recognize our common ground.
Image credit: [9]
The National Governors Association is taking steps to demonstrate how civil disagreement is not only possible but that it is a cornerstone of our democracy. Understanding multiple sides of an issue is critical to effectively addressing the concerns of more people, but that process breaks down once we start attacking the people, not their positions. I first became aware of the NGA through a series of videos highlighting politicians from different sides of the aisle (frequently in the same or neighboring states) who are committed to working together to better serve their constituents as part of a bipartisan initiative called “Disagree Better.” [10]
“Disagree Better” and similar efforts encourage tactics for connection that include identifying common interests and values, asking questions to learn more about the other person’s perspective, and remembering that you’re not trying to change their mind. Having tried these steps myself, I can admit that it’s incredibly difficult, especially right now. I have people I love and care about who are voting differently in this election than I am. Have I taken time to talk to them from a place of curiosity (not judgment) to learn why they’re voting that way? Yes. Do their choices still upset me? Yes. Do I love them any less? Of course not.
As we head into the last week before Election Day, with a likely contentious holiday season to follow, I will be taking steps to try to bridge this political chasm, and there will be more on those specifics next week. For now, if you haven’t voted yet, I am including my election research spreadsheet as it now stands:
Thank you, as always, for reading.
[1] https://www.cnn.com/2018/04/22/politics/barbara-bush-funeral-photo-presidents/index.html
[2] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Infotainment
[3] https://www.forwardparty.com/
[6] https://radicalmoderate.online/2024-general-election-part-2-the-great-divide/
[7] https://radicalmoderate.online/getting-out/
0 Comments